Journey to Mars

At 27 weeks (that's almost seven months for the math-challenged), I've reached that point of the pregnancy when I need to stop looking for the perfect pair of black maternity pants and start thinking about how to feed, entertain, clothe and transport Sprout.

Everyone told me to pick up Baby Bargains, a sort of Consumer's Report for baby-related stuff. The book promises to tell me THE TRUTH ABOUT STROLLERS; Secrets to saving 20% to 50% on baby, furniture, and much, much more!; the SEVEN MOST RIDICULOUS BABY PRODUCTS; and WHY WE'RE THE BIGGEST ABUSERS OF EGREGIOUS EXCLAMATION POINTS AND CAPITAL LETTERS!! (okay, that so last one was mine.)

The book is just over 500 pages long. Rodney read The Great Gatsby in the time it took me to get through the crib chapter, which runs from page 15 through page 112. At the end, he could offer me a treatise about F. Scott's Fitzgerald thoughts on the American Dream. I could only tell him if you can stick a soda can through the crib slats then your baby's head can fit through, too, and that's bad.

Boppy. Exersaucer. Binky. Diaper Champ. Pack 'n Play. Five-point restraints. Sleep sack. I feel as though I've been assigned to go on a mission to Mars and I'm supposed to pick up supplies for my journey at the NASA warehouse--there's so much stuff out there and I'm not sure what a lot of it is!