Buddha Babby with Duck

Her mantra? Mecca lecca hi, mecca hiney ho!

Before and After

Bedtime on Saturday night
Before: 1 a.m.
After: 9 p.m. (that's after one afternoon nap for Mommy)

Preferred Drink
Before: Maker's Mark Manhattan
After: Enfamil Lipil

Coffee
Before: Freshly ground Jamaican Blue Mountain beans brewed in a french press
After: 1/4 cup of Folger's instant coffee

Dinner Conversations
Before: Hillary or Obama; the last "Talk of Town" column in The New Yorker; why Thomas Pynchon is overrated
After: Who has the energy to talk? We're watching "The Daily Show" on the couch.

What's for Dinner?
Before: Tilapia in red curry with french green beans, jasmine rice and a glass of Perseco
After: Manwich on potato rolls

Frequently Visited Websites
Before: The New York Times, Arts and Letters Daily, Go Fug Yourself, New York Magazine, SlashDot
After: DC Urban Moms, Babycenter.com, Babies R Us

Missing: One Band-Aid

When Z woke up from her afternoon nap with red marks scattered across her face, I decided it was time to play beauty parlor and clip her nails. As parents well know, clipping a baby's nails is like trying to herd cats, but I had managed to trim her nails to a respectable, non-werewolf length when we had "the incident."

The nail clippers claimed to be baby safe. They even had a little plastic guard to prevent moms and dads from clipping the end of their babies' fingers off, but they never included me in the test group.

I had just finished clipping her thumbnail when Louie the Lip burst onto the scene. Z's lower lip jutted out. Her eyes crinkled up like plastic wrap and her entire head turned crimson.

Wa!

That's when I saw the drops of blood dripping from her thumb. Boy, did Mommy feel bad. Nineteen bloody cottonballs later, we realized that Zora still had a thumb. Per the nurse's instructions (yes, I called the pediatrician), I dotted some Neosporin on her thumb and placed two of the world's tiniest bandaids on her thumb. By bedtime, she had forgotten the whole incident. I gave her a kiss and flicked off the lights and closed the door, listening to the sound of her slurping on her fingers.

The next morning I found one bandaid stuck to the mattress. The other was nowhere to be found.

"Did you eat the bandaid?" I asked Z.

She offered me a gummy grin.

I've given up looking on her clothes and started looking in her diapers.

Mirror, Mirror on the Gymni

Oh, my! Who's that good looking baby in the mirror?

Why, it's me! Not only am I having lots of fun staring at myself in the mirror, but I've also figured out that my hands can do stuff like grab Mommy's hair, fit in my mouth, and pick my nose. Oh the joys of coordination.

I'm a Pepper -- Wouldn't You Like To Be a Pepper, Too?

My conspicuous lack of teeth makes eating tasty Halloween morsels like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Kit Kats impossible; however, I did get dressed for the occassion.