29 April 2010

Magical Thinking: It's Not Just for Preschoolers

Let's face it: there are a lot of expectations that you have of yourself, your partner, and your kids that are completely divorced from reality, and instead fall into the "wouldn't it be nice category?" Reading Kristin van Ogtrop's Just Let Me Lie Down, reminded me that we're all vulnerable to magical thinking, and that we may as well have a good laugh at ourselves. After all, do you really think that...
  • If you set your alarm clock for 5:37 a.m., you will get up, exercise, and eventually lose those last 10 pounds.
  • If your husband wakes you up in the middle of the night or early in the morning wanting sex, you'll definitely be in the mood.
  • If you take a day off, you will not run errands, do laundry, or check your work email.
  • If you bring your preschooler to a restaurant, she will let you chat with your husband or friends and amuse herself throughout the meal by coloring eating her $8 chicken tenders.
  • If you haven't showered in over three days, people will think your hair looks glossy because of some expensive shine serum.
  • If you run low on vital supplies like toilet paper and toothpaste, your husband will notice and go to Target for more.
  • If you make macaroni and cheese from scratch, your kid will think it is so much better than Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
  • If you slap on enough concealer, no one will notice the luggage under your eyes.
Heh. Me neither.